New York Jets’ Sam Darnold benched for mono, spleen concerns: ‘I’m not going to die’

It’s the kiss that just keeps on giving.

If two things are certain in life — death and taxes — New York Jets’ quarterback Sam Darnold is determined to put at least one of them off for a little while longer.

“I’m not going to die,” Darnold said Friday after being ruled officially out — again — for Sunday’s game against the Philadelphia Eagles (2-2), this after an ongoing battle with mononucleosis benched the young athlete just one game into his sophomore season with the Jets (0-3).

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Despite wanting to come back “sooner rather than later,” Darnold isn’t ready to put it all on the line. Darnold’s spleen is still enlarged, meaning, if he’s hit the wrong way, it could rupture and theoretically kill him.

“It’s a tough thing because you want to stay safe. You know I want to make sure I’m safe out there,” he told reporters at a news conference Friday.

He then added a line destined to launch a thousand memes: “I’m not going to die.”

Following a devastating loss at home against the Buffalo Bills in Week 1, Darnold has been sidelined after being diagnosed with “the kissing disease.”

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“For me, sitting back and watching the team play and not having anything to do with the win or the loss — it’s not a good feeling for me,” he said. “I got to let the doctors do their job.”

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Backup quarterback Luke Falk will start in Sunday’s game against the Eagles.

“If there’s one thing I’ve realized throughout this time sitting down, its that its a privilege to play this game,” Darnold added.